North Koreans Banned From Discussing Kim Jong Un’s Health

( Kim Jong Un’s weight loss over the last year has prompted speculation and concerns that North Korea’s Dear Leader may be desperately ill. The former corpulent dictator’s sudden slim-down even has the North Korean people buzzing with gossip over what could be the cause.

The speculation has grown so fierce that North Korea has banned citizens from discussing Kim’s weight loss entirely – telling the people that gossip is a “reactionary act.”

In order to allay the buzzing speculation, Government officials claim that their Dear Leader, “for the sake of the country” has decided to eat less in solidarity with the people struggling from severe food shortages.

That’s right. Leader Kim is doing his part by eating as little as his people. He’s totally healthy and completely selfless. What a guy!

Apparently neighborhood watch units were deployed to make official statements to the people warning them about discussing Kim’s health. These units assured the North Korean citizens that Kim is “suffering in solitude” both for the sake of the country and the people in crisis.

This is the first time North Korean officials have made any statement in response to all the speculation swirling around Kim’s weight loss and health as these two topics, or any topic about Kim’s personal life, are strictly taboo.

But because North Koreans are as gullible as most MSNBC viewers, they bought the Party’s excuse hook, line and sinker – with some of them expressing delight to see their leader slim down.

This order to ban any gossip about Kim’s health comes just two months after North Korean state TV ran a story of how the North Korean people’s hearts were breaking at Kim’s “emaciated” condition.

At the time, some analysts believe that these forays into reporting on Kim’s weight loss were done deliberately. They suspect that state-run media is using the change in Kim’s weight as a way to reinforce loyalty to the regime during desperate economic times.

The impoverished North Korea has been much more isolated over the last year and a half due to its self-imposed COVID lockdowns. The economy is in terrible shape and the agricultural sector is hard pressed to keep the people fed. Redirecting the focus on Kim’s noticeable weight loss could be an attempt to take the North Korean people’s minds off their own troubles.

However, Kim’s health has been closely watched for quite some time now – in large part because his death and the subsequent question of succession would create chaos and instability within North Korea.